I'm so sick if all of this. It's tiring. I'm so worn out from it all. I'm so mentally worn out that nothing seems to make sense or be right anymore.

I want everything to work out. Oh so badly do I want this and days like today make me feel like they won't. I don't like these kinds of days because then it gives me doubts. You shouldn't ever have doubts. I don't want doubts. Maybe this is why it's been said that I live in a "happy little bubble where everything works out right," because it is what I want to happen. I want things to be positive.

I'm so tired of being caught in the middle and feeling like I have to defend everyone else. I cant speak for anyone else but myself and now, I believe, I'm even having troubles speaking for myself because everyone else is stuck in my head.

I keep being told that it's really about me and my decisions and what makes me happy. I don't even know what makes me happy anymore. And then, if I try to say what I think or express something that I want, I'm talked over and/or am told that it was someone else's thought.

I just want to be understood and be given support. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently so.